Monday, July 22, 2013

The "R" of Relationships - 'Root'

"Just like you need a foundation for a building, you also need a root and a foundation for every relationship, no matter what. That foundation is Friendship, it is the root that strengthens the relationship over time" ( by Genie)

Hello Everyone,

Ever wondered the difference between a very good teacher and a great teacher? A very good teacher will always treat the people he teaches as a student. The relationship there is of a student and a teacher. But a great teacher treats his/ her students as friends. In this case the bond between the student and the teacher goes beyond the normal boundaries of a student teacher relation and towards friendship. It seems a very small difference but only this small difference is sufficient enough to bring a huge difference in the end results.

I took coaching classes for my IIT entrance exams. I took classes for all three subjects - math, physics and chemistry. The physics and chemistry teachers were just that - teachers - but the math teacher was actually more into interacting with students, trying to understand their problems and helping them in a much friendlier way. The difference? I was able to progress in math so much better that even today it is my favorite subject something which it was not at that time. This is the difference one component of friendship makes.

And this is not only true for a teacher-student relationship, it true for all forms of relationship in life whether it be brother-sister, husband-wife, parent-child, girlfriend-boyfriend, boss-colleague, friends etc. No matter the relationship, if the foundation of that relationship is not set in friendship then the chances are very high, that relationship becomes monotonous, stale and boring quickly.

It is a common saying that when a child reaches the height of shoulders of the parents, the parents should start treating the child as a friend rather than a child. And it is actually very true because that’s the teenage and at that time a parent can better understand a child by being a friendly parent/ friend rather than a dominating and overbearing parent. Once again we come back to the same ingredient of friendship in the relationship.

When we treat the other person as friend first and then something else then in that case there are a lot less expectations and even if there are expectations people don’t feel that much dejected and sad when expectations are not fulfilled. Being a friend first also allows people to share things which normally two people won’t share. This becomes very visible in the relationship of a husband wife. Both of them tend to keep less secrets if they treat each other as friend rather that a responsibility that had to carry through.

In professional life one of the best examples is the current HR on our floor. She has got an aura of friendship around her which makes working on the floor much more fun and enjoyable. I can say without a doubt that she is the friendliest, enthusiastic and energetic HR I have ever had the pleasure to come across. At the same time she can be strict and get her point across easily, something that cannot happen if that component is missing.

One of the biggest examples in my life is the bond between me and my sister. We are friends at a deep level and that helps us to share our grief and happiness alike. We don’t have to think twice before disturbing the other and we have no hard feelings if the other is not available. That’s the beauty of friendship at the most basic level. It’s my personal experience that the moment friendship dies out in a relationship the relation turns sour very quickly

So let’s strengthen the roots of our relations by nurturing them with the water of friendship.

Genie Signing off