"V" and Second Marriages

Previously In the A-Z series
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U

"You can't judge someone for losing their virginity... If they are ready they are ready, its really none of your business" (by unknown)

"Before labeling someone as 'used'... take a peek into your past, you might find that you are 'used' too" (by Genie)

Hello Everyone,

The institution of marriage is something that has been present in different forms across the ages and something which is common across all the cultures. It is a sacred union of a male and a female with prospect of supporting each other and coming generations. But when the age old idiotic concept of virginity comes into picture then it tarnishes the sacredness of this pious institution and makes it meaningless. Recently one of my blog friends posted a blog titled - 'Virginity, a gift to your man?' I have been thinking to write on the same but she beat me to it. But still I will present my views on the same. I would also like to take up the issue of second marriages in this very blog and the social stigmas attached to it.

In an extremely traditional country like India where there is a lot of orthodox viewsstill prevalent, a woman/ girl has to tread very carefully to avoid any social shunning. Virginity is a concept that is sadly very important to men about to get married. Why? I just don't understand. What does a girl being virgin has to do with a good future married relation. Some people might say that this means I encourage pre marital sexual relationships? Well I am nobody to comment on it because it’s a matter of personal perception. In my opinion there is nothing bad in it as long as the couple love each other and remain faithful to each other after marriage. But that’s my opinion and I am not going to enforce it on anyone.

In Indian society, and also in many countries with constricted thinking a girl getting engaged in pre marital sexual relationship is equivalent to committing the crime of a murder. I ask, why? What difference being a virgin makes to the married relation? Ironically, guys can get involved in all the pre marital sex they want and no one will lift a finger against then because for the guys it is considered ok. Then why not for the Girl? Why the character of a girl is tied to her virginity?Really sad I think. The character of a person in a relation is defined by how he/ she treat the partner and the attitude. But the society will never understand this because the individuals don’t understand this. In the opinion of the males, a girl has to be all prim and proper throughout her life, no matter in how many different things the males indulge themselves in.

There is also an issue of second marriage. A girl trying to do the second marriage is so much looked down upon, that sometimes I feel that she is doing a crime to want to get married again. The label of 'used' is put against the girls going for second marriage. Why the same label is not put against the guys going into second marriage? Why this discrimination? And we talk about gender equality through jobs and opportunities. There will never be gender equality unless these stupid notions lying at the root of the attitude and mindset are not cast off forever.

Just think a guy 'allows' his wife to do jobs but does not see her equal just because she is a female. Then no matter how much high level equality is achieved, there will be no gender equality. Coming back to the topic of virginity and second marriages, based on the way the society thinks I feel I belong to a illiterate community and not an advanced human race, I feel that the old civilizations when there were no concepts such as virginity (or at least not so prevalent), were much more advanced than the current hypocritical, orthodox and moron society and I feel I should separate myself from the individuals who think like this.

Judging character of a girl based on the parameter of virginity is equivalent to crime, nothing more. Let’s judge people by their individual qualities rather than on stupid notions. Society needs a different outlook on the subjects like virginity second marriages, single mother and fathers. Then only there will be true development in the society, country and world.

My article may seem like I am all in favor of premarital affairs, but its not that. What I am trying to say is that attitude matters and at the end of the day it should be the prerogative of the girl to decide on the matter and not the other way round. Society should not dictate terms to the individuals on personal choices but the person should decide for themselves.

Thanks,
Genie Signing off
email: arunesh.genie@gmail.com

"United" We Fall

Previously In the A-Z series
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T

"Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one" (by John Lennon)

Hello Everyone,

Topic seems a bit confusing, I know. More importantly the poem after it is completely contradictory. How come by being united we will fall. That depend on what we are united for, isn’t it? Give your brain cells a little exercise the answer will come to you as to the meaning of the topic.

I will start with a little history before the Independence of our country. Countries like Britain, America, and France etc were in the race for imperialism and colonization? Money, various trade items etc were the obvious reasons but there was one underlying reason that sustained the process if not trigger it - it was the belief that fair colored people were meant to rule the not so fair colored people. In this the entire countries were united. And look where that unity for superiority of color led the world to - Struggle for freedom and equality in so many countries, loss of millions of lives.

Coming down a level, at a country level, especially in a diverse country like India with so many religions, people of one religion are united in the belief that their religion is superior to others. Result of this unified belief - riots, bloodshed, loss of life and property etc. And most hilarious thing is people like corrupt politicians and unsocial elements take benefit of this unity and instigate it against the society to break the fabric of society apart.

Coming down a level again to the level of caste, within the religion itself there are so many castes and divisions and God forbid if a boy and a girl of different caste decide to marry. All hell breaks loose then. Torture, honor killing, eloping and what not start to happen. The youngsters are forced to leave their families for their own safety. Really pathetic in my opinion. Entire cast stands unified against such knots. My deepest respect to those families who go ahead and accept such relations and try to mingle with other cultures.

Coming down a level again to the society level, within which too there are so many stigmas and expectations attached that sometimes they become mammoth hurdles for the progress. Once again I will talk about the most debated topic - Women in the society. There is a norm that a woman should follow, should do this, should do that, should come on time, should were proper clothes, blah, blah, blah,. Nonsense in my opinion. Who made these people who sprout these nonsense and the leader for all these guidelines; can’t keep themselves in line and they are preaching others. Every adult person is responsible for themselves but then once again for society it is a horror movie if anyone dares to challenge the age old, rusty, rotten norms. Once again unity for a bad thing.

And finally to the level of individual, as an individual we make all the above unities possible after all in the end the world is made up of individuals. People say the world is progressing, but is it really. Progress in technology does not means that world is progressing, World will truly progress when the people's attitude will progress, their thinking will progress. That I see happening at pace that rivals the snail's pace. Why do we need all these destructive unities? I can see no reason at all.

Independence Day is coming, and like I have been saying in all my blogs it’s the individual that makes the difference, not the society and not the government. If you want to get something done right do it yourself. We are the key to solve majority of problems facing us, society, country and world. We only need to break these destructive unities and gather together in unity for the noble cause of strengthening and bringing human race together. Only then this world will truly live and survive, till then we are just wasting our lives inch by inch, day by day.

Let’s be part of the SOLUTION and Happy Independence Day in advance.

Thanks,
Genie Signing off
email: arunesh.genie@gmail.com

Need for "T" or "H" - 'Teleporting' or 'Hovercraft'

Previously In the A-Z series
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S

"Sometimes I wonder - Whether there are potholes in the road or road in the potholes" (by Genie)

Hello Everyone,

After reading the quote above you must have realized what the topic of today's discussion is going to be. Its the pathetic condition of the roads in the city of Mumbai and all across India. Since I am currently in Mumbai so I will focus only on the Mumbai roads. I have been thinking to write on this for quite some time now but a comment from one of my office colleague prompted me to write it now. The comment he made was, "We need a Hovercraft".

And actually we do. Either that or we need to learn to teleport ourselves from one place to another so that we do not have to endure the arduous and painful journey on the roads every day. But sadly if the government cannot build good roads then they can surely not provide the hovercraft facility and teleportation is a fictional concept anyway.

The potholes in the road get even worse in the rainy season. The court has given a mandate to the BMC (Municipal corporation of the city) to get all the roads up and ready by the famous Ganpati festival but the question is will these roads be able to bear the burden of sudden rush of vehicles and crowd during the festivals.

I have been living in Mumbai for three years now and i really don’t understand why the road construction work always starts in the rainy season. I mean come on if you make a road in rainy season it will suffer a lot of wear and tear because of the rains as it will not get time to settle down and dry off. Sometimes I wonder what game the bureaucrats are playing starting the tenders for road construction in rainy season. I might be wrong but I have got a feeling why. If they will construct the roads in the rainy season, they will get deteriorated very soon and then the government can float another tender. The temporary fillings in the pothole get washed away in the next bout of rain. The fillings raarely last more than few days. On the main highway I have seen the same pothole repaired three times in the last month and it is still in the original condition sadly. It has become money laundering business rather than actual constructive construction.

Sadly the bureaucrats are amassing the money and it’s the general public which is facing the problems in daily life - slow traffic, delays, huge waste of time, accidents etc. So once again I wonder should we start buying hovercrafts or who knows some genius scientist comes up with a device to teleport us ;)

Sadly until the government and the bureaucrats wake up, get their heads out of sand and actually see the problem, we will only find road in potholes and not the other way round (which is slightly more better). So till then plesae be safe while driving on the road and be cautious of the bumps and holes of the roads.

Thanks,
Genie Sining off
email: arunesh.genie@gmail.com

The Sad "S" - 'Segregation'

Previously In the A-Z series
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R

"The greatest motivator of humankind and human behavior is fear" (by Sigmund Freud)

Hello Everyone,

Every day for us is a judgment day and no I am not talking about the Terminator movie Judgment Day. I am talking about the judgment we pass onto others, over others and for others. We as human beings are taught to segregate behaviors, emotions, things and people into separate buckets and once we have done that anything outside that bucket or comfort zone is beneath us. No one is exempt from this, not one single person no matter how much saint they claim to be.

What I am talking about? I am talking about the prejudice we create because of the natural tendency of human mind to segregate based on experiences and fear - fear of losing the status quo. Just think whena person start learning skating he has a hard time telling his mind that while skating the tilting of body forward is natural and required and only when mind and body accepts it the person will be able to learn skating. Why it takes so much time to accept it because our mind is in the habit of maintaining of status quo and fearful of what if the conditions change. We are fearful of the unknown.

Coming back to the prejudices, some are pretty harmless and one should not actually worry about that. For example, I don’t like 'ghee'. I had a bad experience in childhood when I ate a very old and stale 'ghee'. Till few years back I had a hard time eating anything that had even the tiniest traces of 'ghee' on it. Does that mean everyone should stop eating that? Of course not and please no offense to the taste buds of people who really love 'ghee'. But a couple of years back I started slowly started trying out again thinking that not every time it will be stale and old. I still avoid if I can but that kind of aversion is no longer there. Had I maintained that status quo I would not have come near for the rest of my life? This was an example of pretty harmless status quo.

But when it comes to prejudices that affect people in groups it becomes serious business. We have worldwide example of segregation - prejudice was the reason why Adolf Hitler rose to power, he has a vendetta against the Jewish community; there was a huge prejudice against the dark skinned people in America until the segregation was outlawed in mid-sixties, Apartheid in South Africa, ironically only 20% population was fair skinned people who thought that they were superiorsto the natives. Did these prejudices do anyone any good? No it only caused bloodshed, deaths and hurt to the populace.

Coming to the present in our own country we have this cursed caste system where prejudices run deep. Marry intercaste and honor killings start to happen, the children are disinherited from the family. And then we blame that the government is not keeping the society safe. There are deep rooted prejudices against female community in this country where even today highly educated people think that their role is only as a housewife and take care of kids and family. And we wonder why this country is going to dogs.

We may blame government all we want but the politicians thrive on the segregation we create. They only fan the flame created by us. We say the government is corrupt but contrary to the popular notion it’s the general population us who is responsible for the majority of the corruption. We don’t realize it but we are the nutrition for these kinds of people. It’s not who they are running the caste politics, it’s us who created the caste politics; they are only reaping the benefits out of it.

Forget about thinking at the national level let’s take a look at the daily routine. When we enter the company mess many of us look down upon the workers and staff there. It’s sad to see the behavior of some of the people. Just because they are standing on the other side of the counter does not mean we can treat them with contempt. Who knows in future we are on that side of the counter. Hence I make it a point to say a 'Hi' and a 'Thank you' whenever I deal with anyone. You will not believe the happiness that brings on their face and in my heart seeing them happy for a moment.

So as we can see that prejudices run deep within us and we are the only one to blame for all the mess we have created. The people in position of power only use this mess to create even more power and profits.

We might have stopped segregation in form of color racism but we have started doing it many other forms. Segregation must go. So how many times have you segregated today? Have you been the part of the problem today? Because if you are not challenging the status quo and changing yourself, you are not part of the solution and when you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem.

Thanks,
Genie Signing off
email: arunesh.genie@gmail.com